Stop the Musical Bastardization

Tonight’s Rant is geared at my own industry and in particular the way that music has become so abused in commercials.

Like most of you, I’ve become quite accustomed to TV commercials using popular songs as musical beds. Some are done quite well where the lyric of the song ties directly to the concept. I don’t mind that. I’ve done it myself most recently with an updated version of “Getting to Know You” on a Honda Canada ad.

Then again, others simply buy a song to excuse the horrible concept of the ad – or lack thereof. You know the spots - happy people bouncing around to a tune that adds absolutely nothing to the idea other than a soundtrack. As if a good song can save a bad commercial. These ones bother me. And I fail to understand why any client would pay the licensing and publishing fees to polish their turd of a commercial. I guess they deserve it.

But that’s not the worst offender. Which brings me to the focus of my diatribe.

Today, I was driving into work and heard a radio spot that started with a very familiar refrain – the smooth melody of Marvin Gaye’s “Mercy Mercy Me.” And then, good lord, the horror began. Instead of the lyrics that opened this poignant song, the words, “Mercy, Mercy Me” were replaced by “Mercer, Mercer, Me.” The ad was for a condo company selling a new development called, guess it, “The Mercer.” Agh!!! You can’t be serious?! Someone had the gall to take what is probably one of the first ecological anthems, a heartfelt plea for environmental awareness and turn it into a piece of shit jingle for a condo! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?

But, y’know what, someone actually approved that lyrical change. Either Gaye’s estate or the current holder of his publishing rights (because Marvin was the sole creator of the song).

Can you imagine how the conversation went?

“Ah, hi there. We’re interested in the publishing rights to Mercy Mercy Me, but we’d like to make one itsy, bitsy change to the lyrics.”

“Hmm. Okay? Which ones exactly – the chorus, the verse, what?”

“Actually, we’d like to kind of re-write the main lyric and title of the song.”

“I see. Why? You find the word Mercy a little too soft? Are you doing a kind of punk rock thing with it and want to get edgier?”

“Not really, we’re selling condos.”

“You’re what?”

“We’re selling condos called the Mercer…and…well, I think you know where this is going.”

“Geez, I don’t know about that. It’s the title of the song. And Marvin really had a lot of heart for it. I don’t know about…”

“We’ll pay you $100,000.”

“Alrighty then, Mercer Mercer Me it is.”

“Fantastic! The cheque’s in the mail. Oh, and just one more thing.”

“Uh huh.”

“We’re building another project in downtown Toronto and we were wondering if you might be interested in selling us the rights to Marvin’s Inner City Blues – Makes Me Wanna Holler. We think Inner City Mews – Makes Me Wanna Call Up is kinda catchy. You think?”

(CLICK & DIAL TONE)

Mercy, Mercy Me indeed. Marvin Gaye must be rolling is his frickin’ grave for this blasphemy.

So, to the writer that thought it was a great idea to bastardize the lyrics, all I can say is shame on you. I hope the next time you try and get sexy with your partner to Sexual Healing your erection fails you miserably (if you’re a guy). May you break your ankle the next time you get up to dance to What’s Going On at a wedding. And may you continue on the pathetic career path on which you’re currently engaged.

And that’s my brainfart for Friday, September 3, 2010.