5 things I love/hate about advertising

Seeing as Season 5 of Mad Men premieres this week – and given the fact that I’ve had 6 days off to reflect about my industry (and some other shit that’s gone down just recently) – this week’s rant focuses on the advertising industry. And the things I love and hate about it.

First, what I hate about this business:

1. The “ranking system.” We have this bizarre system in advertising that amounts to people equating their net worth to the number of awards they’ve won. This is ridiculous. I’ve been in the business for 22 years and haven’t survived and continued to be relevant because I’ve won more awards than anyone else. Far, far from it. Yet, this is still how many people in this business judge themselves. And worse, what many prospective employers are preoccupied with on resumes. Not by how they’ve helped their clients reach and exceed their sales objectives. But by criteria that few, other than self-absorbed creative people, care about

Let me put this in perspective: there are few, other creative industries that define their individual worth by the accolades bestowed upon them by their peers. In fact, many artists, actors and fashion designers have pushed on and succeeded despite what their peers thought of them.

2. The “anti-support system.” This very closely relates to point one. Very few industries tend to systematically and intentionally resort to the “eat your own” philosophy that advertising creatives do. The “attack” syndrome. Case in point, this week, PR went out about a business card we produced for a Toronto head shop. And within 20 minutes, there were a dozen comments from anonymous cowards shitting on the idea and saying it’s been done before. Well, let me tell you this: because I thought that someone, somewhere, may have done this idea before, I researched the fuck out of it. I checked almost every award annual I could. I did Google searches for every iteration of Head Shop/Business Cards/Filters I could. And nothing turned up. Satisfied that I may actually possess a cool idea that hadn’t been done before, we produced and launched the business card. The homework was done. And if it had been done before, it was below any radar I could find.

Oh, and get this: the most outspoken detractor, who supposedly developed a similar card for another head shop in Toronto, was called out to be an utter fraud. They never produced the “spec idea” they had. And furthermore, the owner of the shop they claimed to have produced this card for publicly took them to task for their fake card.

But I digress. What I mean to say, like so many before me like Paul Lavoie, Alan Gee, Geoffrey Roche, etc… is that Canadians spend far too much time beating each other up, crapping all over one another than supporting the Canadian advertising community. I suspect, most of it done by juniors and embittered ad folks that don’t have a real job.

What’s even worse is that the vast majority of people hide themselves behind pseudonyms and anonymous names. Fucking cowards all of them!

3. The self-importance factor. There are people in this business that have such inflated egos it’s a joke. Reality is: we hawk products or services. That’s it. We’re not solving complex math problems or providing insight into the ways of the world. We’re not doing brain surgery or curing cancer. We’re not saving lives. So, why the fuck do people in advertising think that they’re more important than they really are? Grow up people. We are the thorn in people’s sides. We are the necessary evil. We are the hemorrhoids on capitalism. So, get the fuck over your self-importance and take a big dose of humility.

4. The “snake oil” syndrome. I hate that I work in one of the most distrusted industries on the planet. Yes, ad folks, we’re right behind lawyers on that list. And I hate that. But there have been numerous “ad scandals” in the past 5 years that don’t exactly help.

It’s funny, when I go to social events outside the industry and tell them what I do, one of the first responses is, “how do you get away saying what you do in ads?” This turns my stomach. And reminds me that, in general, people despise us practitioners.

5. The politics. At best, it forces you to compromise. At worst, it causes you to betray all that you hold dear in terms of integrity. Fortunately, I’ve never had to leave my morals at the door and sell my soul for a piece of business. Or any account that I’ve worked on. I can hold my head high knowing that whatever has come my way, I have tried my best to do the right thing. (Please refer to point 2).

What I love:

1. Helping my clients succeed. This is why we’re truly in this business and any “creative” that thinks otherwise is lost. I have never done a campaign that I have not been intimately involved with what the sales outcome was

2. Innovation. I’m stoked by all the non-traditional ways we have to connect with consumers. Whatever the platform, the old ways of doing a TV, print or radio ad, is antiquated. And I, for one, am happy for that

3. Collaboration. In the Mad Men era, clients trusted agencies to solve all their problems. They rarely challenged them and the agency/client relationship was established. Buzzer! Not that way any more. Agencies need to stop talking and start listening. Share ideas. More heads are better than one. And any agency claiming to possess a magic bullet is one you want to run as fast as you can from

4. Co-workers. Look around you. You spend more time with your co-workers than your spouse and your children. If they don’t inspire you, inspire them. Your working environment is only as good as you make it. Make it better

5. Knowing I have an exit strategy. I don’t want to do this for the rest of my life. I’m looking at other opportunities that my skill set is transferrable to. My advice: don’t stagnate. Move forward and capitalize on what you do best. Advertising for me, is but one channel. There are others. Mine them.

So, what has this week taught me? That, for the most part, a lot of advertising people (especially those from the last decade) are navel-gazing, self-absorbed, ego-obsessed individuals that define themselves by awards and peer approval. But don’t really understand why they’re truly in the business.

Oh, and give your collective heads a shake. Because, at the end of that day, it's a job.

I’d rather be known as a great father and mentor to my children than any fucking ad award I could ever win.

And that’s my brain fart for Friday, March 16, 2012.

Stop Cutting My Summer Short

So this week's rant must tread on very delicate grounds. For professional reasons, I will forgive the sins of retailers, some of which I work on.

But, from a completely personal point of view, I have but one thing to say: please, I implore you, let me enjoy my summers the way I used to when I was a kid.

When I was young, summers seemed endless. The toll of the school bell in September was always something that lingered forever on the horizon. And the realization that we had to go back to school only sunk in when we found ourselves sitting in the hydro field with the entire neighbourhood gathered around for a blistering fireworks displays on Labour Day weekend.

In the summer, I didn't watch TV. I was too busy playing SPUD or Hide 'n' Seek until the streetlights came on. And then, it was in the bath and to bed.

Those were the days. And it was all so poetic. The world seemed right. Youth was revered and given every minute of the summer for first kisses, truth or dare, skateboarding and cut knees...pure innocence.

But here we are in 2011, barely the first week of August, and we are being bombarded with the "buy, buy, buy" message of back to school. A full month-plus of when the actual event takes place.

Look, I'm all for getting a jump start on things - I'm a "planning" type of guy. But I really don't want to think about back to school and all that it represents at this stage. After all, it's still summer right? We should be focused on making sandcastles, staying up late and watching meteor showers and singing songs by campfires. Not worrying about whether we'll have enough sheets to fill the binders we may or may not have purchased.

It has become the curse of marketing to be "first" to put a message out there. Beat the competition. But at what cost? Increasing the stress on already stressed-out families?

Here's an idea. Instead of spending millions of dollars on back-to-school TV ads a month ahead of schedule, try re-allocating that money into things that will really endear people to your brand. Sponsor pop-up movie nights in parks to give families a chance to bond before everyone gets "back down to business." Give me something nostalgic with my purchase like a burning school house. Whatever...But just stop hawking your wares without due consideration of the emotional needs of your audience.

It's not "the most wonderful time of the year." Far fucking from it. It's hard watching your kids go off to school for the first time. It's a burden hoping that they'll get the grades they need to get into the university of their choice. I, for one, hate back to school. It is ultimately the time when everyone goes their separate ways, each one with their own goals and aspirations. It is a time of parting as a family unit and the summer wanes...

The last sunset. Pink sky. Solitude. And then, chaos.

Let's hope that some retailer will figure this out. It is a huge emotional time for so many people and no one is even close to fulfilling that role. What a missed opportunity.

And that's my brain fart for August 12, 2011.

Stop the Musical Bastardization

Tonight’s Rant is geared at my own industry and in particular the way that music has become so abused in commercials.

Like most of you, I’ve become quite accustomed to TV commercials using popular songs as musical beds. Some are done quite well where the lyric of the song ties directly to the concept. I don’t mind that. I’ve done it myself most recently with an updated version of “Getting to Know You” on a Honda Canada ad.

Then again, others simply buy a song to excuse the horrible concept of the ad – or lack thereof. You know the spots - happy people bouncing around to a tune that adds absolutely nothing to the idea other than a soundtrack. As if a good song can save a bad commercial. These ones bother me. And I fail to understand why any client would pay the licensing and publishing fees to polish their turd of a commercial. I guess they deserve it.

But that’s not the worst offender. Which brings me to the focus of my diatribe.

Today, I was driving into work and heard a radio spot that started with a very familiar refrain – the smooth melody of Marvin Gaye’s “Mercy Mercy Me.” And then, good lord, the horror began. Instead of the lyrics that opened this poignant song, the words, “Mercy, Mercy Me” were replaced by “Mercer, Mercer, Me.” The ad was for a condo company selling a new development called, guess it, “The Mercer.” Agh!!! You can’t be serious?! Someone had the gall to take what is probably one of the first ecological anthems, a heartfelt plea for environmental awareness and turn it into a piece of shit jingle for a condo! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?

But, y’know what, someone actually approved that lyrical change. Either Gaye’s estate or the current holder of his publishing rights (because Marvin was the sole creator of the song).

Can you imagine how the conversation went?

“Ah, hi there. We’re interested in the publishing rights to Mercy Mercy Me, but we’d like to make one itsy, bitsy change to the lyrics.”

“Hmm. Okay? Which ones exactly – the chorus, the verse, what?”

“Actually, we’d like to kind of re-write the main lyric and title of the song.”

“I see. Why? You find the word Mercy a little too soft? Are you doing a kind of punk rock thing with it and want to get edgier?”

“Not really, we’re selling condos.”

“You’re what?”

“We’re selling condos called the Mercer…and…well, I think you know where this is going.”

“Geez, I don’t know about that. It’s the title of the song. And Marvin really had a lot of heart for it. I don’t know about…”

“We’ll pay you $100,000.”

“Alrighty then, Mercer Mercer Me it is.”

“Fantastic! The cheque’s in the mail. Oh, and just one more thing.”

“Uh huh.”

“We’re building another project in downtown Toronto and we were wondering if you might be interested in selling us the rights to Marvin’s Inner City Blues – Makes Me Wanna Holler. We think Inner City Mews – Makes Me Wanna Call Up is kinda catchy. You think?”

(CLICK & DIAL TONE)

Mercy, Mercy Me indeed. Marvin Gaye must be rolling is his frickin’ grave for this blasphemy.

So, to the writer that thought it was a great idea to bastardize the lyrics, all I can say is shame on you. I hope the next time you try and get sexy with your partner to Sexual Healing your erection fails you miserably (if you’re a guy). May you break your ankle the next time you get up to dance to What’s Going On at a wedding. And may you continue on the pathetic career path on which you’re currently engaged.

And that’s my brainfart for Friday, September 3, 2010.